Family
by The Little Things In Life
Summary: "I'd forgotten what it's like, having a family." "You have a family, right here." Michael is coming to terms with his feelings for Nikita and Alex, remembering what he felt when he realized they were filling up the hole Elizabeth and Hailey had left behind when they died.


**A/N: Please Read!**

**I'm so sorry for not posting anything for so long; my parents have banned me from using after they figured I was a) awake until too late every night and b) I'd gotten some great friends who I tell more than them about my thoughts and all that! ****So, to those friends: sorry for not answering your PMs, it's not because I hate you or anything. Blame my parents. I miss all of you like hell and will try to reply ASAP!**

**Also, I'll try and get back to my other stories, especially Sascha, as soon as possible. After finals, my parents will still have to work but I'll be free and then I can probably update like three or four chapters, because I have them all written! So, just give me like two weeks because then I'll have some quality time with the internet without my parents watching my every move.**

**This chapter goes out to Iris Elena. I'm with you mentally, girl, stay strong! I love you!**

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Story: Family

By: The Little Things In Life

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_I'd forgotten what it's like, having a family._  
_You have a family, right here._

_- Michael and Nikita, S02E05_

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Had it really been ten years since his wife and daughter had died?

It had felt shorter, for Michael still remembered every word, every touch, every expression on his girls' faces. Elizabeth and Hailey. Hailey and Elizabeth.

Then again, it also felt longer than ten years, for he had to fight his way through every day in both the literal and the metaphorical sense. He had murdered so many people during these past ten years, he had taught countless others how to kill. He had probably fought (and won) tens of thousands of fights. All in all, he had probably caused over a thousand deaths. That fact, combined with the ever-aching loss of his loved ones, made every movement, every word and every little smile feel as though it cost more energy than lifting a ton of bricks.

Then, the gap in his heart had slowly started to fill up.

It had started with Nikita. Troublesome, headstrong, rebellious, stubborn Nikita. Beautiful Nikita, evil Nikita, flirtatious Nikita, lethal Nikita, seductive Nikita, his very own Nikita. All of those Nikitas had different faces and Michael had seen them all. Loved them all, for he loved Nikita, although he would never admit that to anyone. The lithe dark-haired beauty had started to fill the Elizabeth-shaped gap in his life and Michael hated her for that. He felt like he was letting his Lizzie down, and he hated Nikita for making him feel that way. The only ones he'd ever hated more, were himself and Kasim. The only ones he'd ever loved more, were Elizabeth and Hailey.

Then Nikita bailed, and Michael didn't know what hurt more. The fact that he actually felt _sad _over her betrayal, something he'd only felt when thinking about his wife and daughter during these past ten years, or the fact that she hadn't trusted him with her doubts about Division. Had he meant so little to Nikita that she thought he was merely Percy's second in command? Had Nikita thought he would run to Percy like a good little lapdog to offer up information that might well end in her death? The day she had faked her death had been the hardest of his life save that fatal day ten years ago. Michael had thought that yet another woman he loved had died, and he hadn't been able to save her any more than Lizzie and Hailey.

When they told him they hadn't found her body, had found a gun loaded with blanks tied up in a tree, everyone had gotten to the same conclusion: Nikita had gone rogue. All the little things suddenly made sense; her aversion to killing, the tiny change in her expression whenever Percy talked to her, even her depression after every Valentine mission suddenly seemed like a sign Michael shouldn't have missed. The first thing he had felt when they told him was his carefully hidden mourning turning into just as carefully hidden relief – she was alive! Then, he felt that relief turn to anger at her betrayal. After that, or maybe at the same time, he experienced how fast love can turn into hate if given the right conditions. Ever since that day, he had had only two goals: finding Nikita, and finding Kasim. Finding the woman he loved and hated, and finding the man that had killed the only other woman he had ever loved so much.

Then, Alex came along. At first, she had merely reminded Michael of Nikita. From the way she held herself to her escape attempt on her first day in Division, from her witty remarks to her fighting style and from her attitude towards anything computer to how fast she understood everything. He had immediately loved her, although not in the way he had loved Nikita. While Nikita had started to fill up the hole Elizabeth had left behind, Alex had slowly but surely started to do the same for Hailey. Hailey, Michael had calculated, would have been fifteen by then. Alex was nineteen. He loved her like a daughter, and didn't hate her for it the way he had hated Nikita. He had hated Nikita because he wanted her in a way he had promised Elizabeth he would never want with anyone other than her. With Alex, all he wanted was to protect her in any way possible, and that didn't feel like he was betraying his family.

After Nikita had killed Kasim, Michael's point of view had changed slightly. He learned Alex was like a daughter to Nikita, and it felt like a whole new world had opened to him. Was if fate? He didn't know. All he knew was that the woman who he loved (the hate had dissipated once he had understood Percy's evilness thanks to Kasim) loved him back, and that the girl he loved as a daughter, she did too. Now that Kasim was dead, Michael felt he was finally allowed to move on. He had always known that Lizzie wouldn't have wanted him to be alone and mourning for the rest of his life, but after murdering her killer he was finally able to agree. He now understood that moving on wasn't the same as forgetting them.

Hailey and Elizabeth had once been his family, and although he hadn't forgotten them and never would, Alex and Nikita had taken their place.

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**Hope you liked it, please leave me some comments! Otherwise I can never improve as a writer...**

**Xx**


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